


Nurse for the Beast

by loonymoonyfics



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Gore, F/M, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, Marley (Shingeki no Kyojin), NSFW, Shower Sex, give this poor man some love, marley mid east war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25595953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonymoonyfics/pseuds/loonymoonyfics
Summary: Noah's country allies with Marley against Mid-East Allied Force. She arrives at the camp near Fort Slava and struggles to keep her head cool as bickering with Zeke becomes her favourite thing to do.
Relationships: Zeke Yeager/OC
Comments: 9
Kudos: 25





	1. The meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first attempt at a multi-chaptered story, so I hope you enjoy it.  
> Requested by Eismesser from Tumblr. Noah is her OC.  
> Eismesser is a fantastic artist and a very dear friend. You can find and/or commission her on Tumblr, Instagram, DA and Artstation.  
> Have fun!

It was early afternoon when Noah’s ship docked at the makeshift harbor not far from Fort Slava. The area was pretty barren, save for the few trees growing here and there, and the large camp set up by Eldian soldiers. In the distance, one could see a wild beach, its seemingly soft sand tossed around by the waves made stronger by the passing of the ship. The scenery was serene for a war-stricken area.

Her homeland wasn’t very close to the territory but, even though the trip was quite long, she didn’t mind. Noah always enjoyed traveling the seas, despite of expecting her voyage to be disastrous. Such was the life of a combat nurse. Learning how to deal with the unknown was troublesome, but it was a necessity.

At the young age of 23, Noah already commanded a unit of nurses from her homeland. It meant that whenever there was a war her country meddled in, the Supreme Commander of their military would send a unit such as hers and a unit of his elite soldiers first. Atla’s military wasn’t that big of a deal as a whole, but services of their nurse units and advanced weaponry were always well paid for. If the voyage went well, the elite soldiers sent to protect them should’ve already arrived.

She didn’t know much about the relationship between Marley and their enemies, save for their hate towards Paradis Island. She was aware Eldians were hated for whatever reason, but the stories of their sins were something she didn’t believe in. Noah preferred to learn about nations on her own, instead of listening to the stories or reading history books. Everyone knew history was written by the victors and, therefore, could not be completely relied upon.

As the sailors lowered the anchor of their ship, her gray eyes scanned their surroundings. On the dock to their left, the ship their soldiers used was already empty of people. There was only a single man waiting for Noah and her unit to leave the ship.

\- General Theo Magath. - the man introduced himself as soon as their feet hit the solid ground. - Welcome to our camp. -

\- Thank you. - she wasn’t sure whether participating in their war and thus being welcomed in the camp was something she should be grateful for. Marley has always been famous as a war-thirsty nation. They had their fingers in so many pies. - I’m Noah, captain of 11th CNU. -

–

In the camp section of Warrior unit, lunch for warriors and their potential inheritors came to an end. For once, Zeke had the opportunity to observe the group outside of the battlefield, and found himself both sad and happy at the sight. The youngsters were strong, smart. Some had an attitude, some were obedient. Some were family to his warriors.

Once again, the thought of losing so many of them made his heart ache.

Zeke never found the idea of war appealing. Even less so, when the nation they were fighting was his own. The Eldians suffered for the supposed sins of their ancestors, despite of the fact none of them even knew what happened in the past. The Founding Titan made sure of that.

And yet, even with their memories gone, Eldians on Paradis were still very much a threat in Zeke’s eyes. With how much they’ve suffered since they inhabited the island, it was only a matter of time until someone found a way to unleash the Wall Titans and level the world.

Zeke didn’t wish the Eldians death, regardless of the threat they posed to the world. What he did wish for was to make the world a safe place, so children wouldn’t have to fight old people’s wars. But, he could not see Eldians cohabiting with the rest of the world. Even if they were interested in peaceful integration among the other nations, the world would never stop fearing them. At best, they would continue to live in internment zones and suffer under the rule of bastards, just like Zeke did. In his mind, it would’ve been better if they just… disappeared with time. Extinction was the only humane way to save the world from his people, and the other way around.

On the other hand, the war against the Middle Eastern Allied forces didn’t mean much to him. He was opposed to warring, of course, but it was just a job that had to be done. What he absolutely disliked, however, was the fact that only Eldians were sent to fight Marleyan war. They had already lost over a half of their sailors over the course of four years, showing just how little Eldian soldiers meant to Marley. Ever worse, with 800 Eldians preparing to attack Fort Slava, the losses were only going to get heavier.

–

It was right after dinner when General Magath instructed the unit leaders to gather in the tent they had set up as battlefield HQ. Noah was accompanied by Captain Vestel, leader of their elite unit the Supreme Commander tasked with protecting them. Vestel was a tall, dark skinned man with skull-trimmed hair and broad shoulders. He was as interesting as a brick wall, but his strength and skill were second to none.

Noah was surprised to see only three men sitting inside of the tent. The tent itself wasn’t very spacious, nor did it have any other furniture aside from a table and chairs. Magath was seated at the head of it, with the two men on each of his sides. One of those two sat near a small window, the thing being an unusual sight in such a place. Noah had noticed Marleyan tents were not the usual kind, but the few people she asked about them did not know how to set them up. From what she could understand, only a select group of soldiers were familiar with the way they operated.

The two available chairs proved no one else was to join the meeting. She concluded Magath’s bosses were absolute idiots and finally understood how they managed to suffer such huge losses on the sea. She felt a sliver of pity for the ground forces, most of which will pointlessly lose their lives in the upcoming battle.

\- Captain Vestel, Atla’s 2nd Elite Soldier unit. - the blockhead she came with introduced himself as they entered.

\- Noah. Captain of Atla’s 11th Combat Nurses unit. - she added quickly and took a seat.

\- Captain? - older of the two blonde men on Magath’s side spoke. His eyes were trained on her, showing barely any emotion, save for curiosity. - Aren’t you a bit young for such a position? -

\- I’ll take that as a compliment. - she noticed as the blue orbs filled with amusement. - You might want to take it as a lesson. -

\- A lesson? - he cocked an eyebrow.

\- Have you not learned any manners? One should never comment on a lady’s age. - with the attention fully on the two of them, Noah was starting to regret speaking out.

\- Oh, I’ve learned that alright. - a corner of his lips curved in a smirk. The blonde man adjusted his sitting position and checked her out purposefully. - If I had noticed there was a lady at this table, I would’ve picked my words more carefully. -

The other blonde man, sitting on Magath’s other side, visibly struggled to keep his laughter at bay. Unfortunately, it only served as a push Vestel needed to lose control over himself.

\- Then perhaps it’s time for you to get new glasses. - she smacked herself mentally for not having a better comeback.

\- I don’t think my eyes are the problem here. - he was about to say something else, when General Magath raised his hand.

\- Alright, alright. - his own tired eyes were filled with mirth as he looked between the two of them. - How about we settle down? There is much to discuss. -

\- My apologies, General. - the blonde bully nodded at his superior, then turned back to her and Vestel. - My name is Zeke Yeager, War chief of the Warrior unit. -

\- And I’m Colt Grice, the leader of Warrior unit candidates. - the other man offered a pleasant smile.

\- So you’re the ape man. - glancing at the warrior, Noah couldn’t let the opportunity slide. Bickering with Zeke was getting interesting. - That explains a lot. -

\- Now, now, my lady. - he said sarcastically. - You wound me. -

\- She’s a nurse, she can fix you later. - Colt chuckled awkwardly as his superior sent him a glare. - Unless General Magath kills us all before that. -

\- Enough. - the man in question spread a map over the table. - Pull your heads out of your asses and use them for work, why don’t you? You can resolve your sexual tension after we win this war. -

A protest died on Noah’s lips as Magath sent her a glare as well and tapped his forefinger on Fort Slava. - Yes, sir. I apologize. -

\- Good. - he took a few chess pieces and placed them between the X mark signifying the location of the camp, and the Fort. - We will dig trenches along these paths. This will take some time, but we need to avoid the enemy’s machine guns in order to safely advance. -

\- We can take care of that. - Colt nodded in approval. - Aside from warriors, we are best trained. It should be easy enough for us. -

\- I was hoping you would say that. - Magath admitted. - If it’s only the lot of you on the job, we can deploy a nurse with each of you. This way, even if you suffer an attack, you can be saved. -

\- Does that sound acceptable? - much to Noah’s surprise, Zeke’s question was directed at her, not at Vestel. She was used to having to chew men in charge out for disregarding her at first.

\- How many nurses do you need? -

\- Five. - Colt smiled when she nodded her agreement. He then turned to Vestel. - I assume you’re to accompany us as well? -

\- Of course. - Vestel rubbed his shaved chin. - If our nurses are safe within your camp, we can deploy two men per candidate and help with the digging. That should speed up the process. -

\- That would be ideal, thank you. - Magath nodded appreciatively. - While I guarantee the safety of nurses, I can offer additional protection from our warriors, if it would soothe your worries. -

\- Your offer is accepted, thank you. - Vestel agreed before Noah could reply.

\- The offer was not directed at you. - she glared at the man. - We are combat nurses in the allied camp. They don’t need to waste resources on our additional protection. -

\- Our job is to protect you. We can’t do that if we’re deployed away from you. - he pointed out.

\- And what do you think warriors can do that we can’t? Do you need me to explain what the word “combat” means? -

\- They can shift into titans, woman. - he looked at her as if she were an idiot.

\- They can’t shift in their own damn camp, you blockhead. -

\- Before this escalates any further… - Magath interrupted their argument, visibly annoyed at the development. - ...the offer was indeed directed at the Captain of the unit in question. -

\- Thank you, sir. - she offered an appreciative nod. - I’m sure you have better use of Warrior unit than to have them babysit us for no good reason. -

\- Then it’s settled. - Magath cleared out the chess pieces, then rolled up the map. - You are to deploy before sunrise. We can continue planning once you return. -

After offering a sorry ass excuse, Vestel all but stormed out of the tent. Zeke smirked and shook his head as he stood. - Let’s hope the bruise on his ego will heal by the morning. -

\- Is there a medicine for that, Captain? - Colt chuckled as he placed the discarded chess pieces back in their box.

\- I’ve only been able to reduce the swelling of it so far. - she giggled. - Good luck dealing with him tomorrow. -

\- You are not coming? -

\- No. - she turned to Zeke. - I would like to organize an emergency unit with one of your warriors. Cart titan, if I remember correctly. -

\- You do. - he looked… pleased? She wasn’t sure. - Her name is Pieck. I can introduce you to her now, if you will. -

\- I have to organize my nurses for tomorrow. - she said on her way out. It was rude of her, but the way he looked at her made even her ears turn pink. She’d die before letting him see the reaction he brought out of her. - I’ll find you in an hour. -

She knew she failed when the door closed and Zeke let out an amused laugh.


	2. Weremonkey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Zeke.  
> As a celebration of his birthday, my amazing artist friend Eismesser created this wonderful piece of art inspired by the fic. I am beyond happy we were able to collaborate and honoured to have had the opportunity to work with her. Please, enjoy her art as much as I did and more. And chapter 2 as well. ^^   
> https://64.media.tumblr.com/0847815df6da7d47331c72145cb45e09/edd6005858362728-5b/s2048x3072/9622da6a679ea5a72f84103428638a9b28147e23.jpg

Zeke had never entertained the idea of finding himself a… well, partner. As a warrior, his only purpose was to fight for the nation that despised the very blood running through his veins. He has never seen a good example either. His parents were enamored fools; although, whether they were in love with one another or the idea of restoring Eldia was something Zeke couldn’t deduce. Besides, he didn’t have much left of his life. He was a warrior, after all.

It wasn’t as if he never had any needs. Zeke wasn’t a blind man. So many women in Liberio were attractive. Some were even interested in him, Marleyan and Eldian alike. But, he never found anyone intriguing enough to be more than sexual relief.

That is, until a pair of gray eyes twinkled in amusement as their owner called him an ape.

Over the course of a couple of days, Zeke had spoken to that woman twice – during the strategic meeting with Magath, and when he introduced her to Pieck. Both interactions amounted to them bickering with one another. With her no-nonsense attitude and reliance on logic alone, one would consider her aloof.

But, Zeke could see in the way she planned the emergency deployments that she didn’t follow logic that couldn’t save a life. He thought her to be naive, until he saw her nurses agree to some of her riskier plans without hesitation. “Life was precious”, one of them said. It was what they learned upon joining the unit.

And so, Zeke continued with his days as if nothing had changed in him. Yet, wherever he went – whether he did that consciously or not was beyond him - there was a mop of brown hair swishing around with purpose.

–

Noah wasn’t sure if the camp was that freaking small or she had the worst luck ever. Seeing him during meals and meetings was bad enough for her facial complexion, but whatever work she had to do that was not connected to Eldians at all, he was there too. Always at a distance, never saying anything, but close enough for her to feel his eyes on her. It wasn’t as if she didn’t return the favor whenever she noticed he wasn’t looking. Zeke wasn’t good for her health.

She wasn’t sure what was it about him that made her mind combust, but she was sure of at least one thing – she would stay as far away from him as possible. No matter what happened in the days ahead, she would not lower her guard. Warriors all had short lives. She didn’t need another kind of pain in her own. Being a nurse thrown from one war to another, none of them really relevant to Atla, made her life a living hell and her heart either empty or bruised. It was already almost too much to handle.

\- Turn that frown upside down. - Katya, her right hand and a long time friend, sat at her table. A bowl of stew was on the lunch menu that day, but Noah had no appetite.

\- What, like this? - she stood and tilted her head as much to the side as she could. Katya chuckled and rolled her eyes at her antics.

\- You think you’re funny, but you’re not. -

\- Why are you laughing then? - her friend stirred her stew as she sat back.

\- Because you look silly when you do that? - a deep, amused voice came from her side. Of course, out of all the tables in the large tent, only the one next to theirs was available and he had to walk up and sit exactly there. The rest of the warriors, with their bowls and breads on trays, joined him for a meal.

\- Oh, monkey man is here. - she smirked, glancing at his tray. - Look at you, thinking you can use a spoon. -

\- Still not a monkey. - his blue eyes held mirth in them as his group laughed. - Where is your meal? -

\- An ape then? - she ignored his question.

\- Not an ape either. -

\- A weremonkey? - she guessed again with all the seriousness she could muster as a few subtle snorts – as subtle as a snort could be - came from the blonde man across from him. Reiner, as grumpy as he was since she had met him, actually had a sense of humor.

\- That’s not even a thing, you crazy woman. - Zeke laughed along, the joyful expression a welcome novelty on his bearded face.

\- Yeah, I didn’t think you were one either. - she snickered. - Those creatures are supposed to be intelligent, after all. -

\- Must you wound me whenever we exchange words? -

\- Bold of you to assume I care about your ego getting wounded. -

\- Don’t worry, your weremonkey powers will heal any wound you might have. - Katya giggled, offering the man an apologetic look. - Sorry, I couldn’t resist. -

\- I see what is happening here. - Zeke shot Noah a challenging glance. - You are jealous my powers alone do your job better than you do. -

\- How cute. - she looked at him as she would a baby. - You actually think I’d waste my skills on you. -

\- There is a different set of skills you might possess that I’m interested in. - he grinned widely when her face turned completely red and no comeback came from her ajar mouth. - That shut you up nicely, didn’t it? -

\- You dirty bastard. -

\- I’m a dirty bastard? - he feigned surprise. - I never said which set of skills I was talking about. Your mind went there on its own. -

\- At least I have a mind. - she glared daggers at her laughing friend. Katya was having too much fun for someone who should be on her side.

\- Such a shame it only works one way. -

\- Master of one better than a master of none. -

\- Oh, a master? - he caught her in a damn trap. - Duly noted. -

Their bickering continued as the rest of the nurses from her unit joined them at the table. They went from insulting to dallying with one another as a couple of teenagers, with the rest of the two groups laughing and cheering them on. Zeke was a witty man, she’d give him that. She’d even laugh at some of his lines.

A better look at him showed her he enjoyed their banter as much as she did. Of course, she was mortified by some of the things said, but the teasing she knew she’d have to suffer through later was a tomorrow’s problem. All that mattered at the time was getting her mind off of the war they had to fight.

–

Some minutes away from the makeshift docks used by the Eldian military was a wild, sandy beach. It was unused, considering it was within a war-stricken territory, but Zeke didn’t mind the potential danger. He was one of the people fighting said war anyway.

Whenever he’d need some peace and quiet since he arrived to Fort Slava, that beach was where he’d go to. Whether others knew of it or not didn’t matter – aside from him, only a handful of people were allowed to leave the camp. On occasion, he’d briefly hope one of those people would join him uninvited, but he’d quickly dismiss that thought. That kind of life wasn’t meant for people like him.

The waves hit the shore at a steady pace, the strength of the water altering the patterns of the white sand with each soft kiss. Watching the beauty of nature brought a bittersweet smile to his face. He read once, in a book long lost by the time he could understand its wisdom, the truth about the sea. It was what made him find solace in it. “Because there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it’s sent away”, the quote said, written by an author whose name he could no longer remember, but the words stayed with him as he aged in such a ruthless world.

There were not many things that put him at ease in a way the sea did. Not many people, either. Some of those people would die by the time his service as a warrior would end. He wished there was a way for him to protect them. All the wars already tainted and tore so many pure hearts, and the fate was too cruel to care for them. Even his little brother, brainwashed by their late father just as Zeke was, was tortured by the same fate.

\- Zeke. - a deep voice of his superior came from his right side.

\- General Magath. - he moved quickly to stand up, but the man motioned him to stay as he was. - What brings you here? -

–

Noah was worried as she and Vestel finally joined the emergency meeting General Magath had organized. All the soldiers were uneasy as those who were sent to spy on Allied forces returned with confidential information. They had went straight to the General and shared nothing with those who welcomed them back to the camp.

\- What is this about? - Vestel wasted no time once they took a seat.

\- We have received information from our spies. - Magath looked worried. - It appears the railways surrounding Fort Slava are fully operational. The Allied forces intend to use their train to carry anti-Titan artillery to keep our advances at bay. We cannot deploy Armored Titan or Beast Titan under such circumstances. -

\- Our only option is to send our troops to destroy the railways before warriors are deployed. - Zeke scratched his beard thoughtfully. - But it will result in more casualties than originally anticipated. -

\- We are here to manage that problem. - Vestel pointed out. - With us and the nurses on the front line, the number of casualties can be reduced to the bare minimum. -

\- Agreed. - she nodded. - We have also brought our own weaponry, so you can use the resources you probably set aside for us to destroy the railways and protect yourselves. A few grenades should suffice. -

\- Our soldiers cannot carry much more weaponry than they already have. - Magath shook his head. - A few grenades divided among them, yes. Guns and such, barely. -

\- We will carry those for them, then. - Noah glanced at Vestel, seeking his agreement. - Our weaponry is state of art and suited for our line of work. We can carry more than we have on us. -

\- This is correct. My unit will help as well. -

\- Isn’t this too dangerous for nurses? - Zeke looked uneasy, then surprised when she gave him a curious look. - You might get crushed by us once we transform. -

\- I’m more worried about artillery on the wall and the train. We can clear out well enough once the zeppelin is right above us. - she reassured him. - Thank you for your concern. -

Silence fell over the group as they contemplated the plan. It sounded good enough in theory, but they didn’t know what to expect. Noah had a vague idea, considering their own military crafted anti-Titan weapons in case of emergency, but she knew nothing of how it was operated, nor was she at liberty to discuss such things with foreign armies. Vestel, who knew more than she did, remained quiet as well.

\- Alright, if no one has anything else to say… - Magath stood from his chair and nodded at the four of them. - ...we conclude this meeting. We will have another small unit of spies sent to the Fort and meet again if the need arises. Thank you for your time. -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, any form of feedback is very much appreciated. For fic requests, find me on Tumblr under the same name!


	3. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! We're in the middle of the story, and I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it. ^^

It was in the middle of the night when Zeke woke up, cold sweat trickling over the bare skin of his chest. It was one of those nightmares where he could not tell whether it was an actual dream, or a horrid memory from one of the previous Beast Titans. He wished it was just his mind being unnecessarily cruel to him.

It was pitch black in the sleeping tent and mostly quiet, save for a few soft snores coming from Reiner. Zeke would recognize the sound anywhere. Reiner was always very dear to him; he was reliable and kind, and would not hesitate to help anyone who was in need. His good nature was exactly why the world they lived in broke him so easily. That young man was nothing but a shell of what he used to be.

With a tired mind and a heavy heart, Zeke got out of his sleeping bag and started for the beach. The entire camp was silent, fitting for the hour, with only soldiers on duty guarding the place. They all gave him a nod as he passed them by. One of them gave him a lantern, even though the moon and the stars shined enough to show him the way.

The sea was somewhat restless as he walked by, due to the gusts of wind that ruffled his blond hair. It wasn’t exactly cold outside but, since he was sweaty and only wearing his pants, the flowing air made him shiver each time it moved over his skin. And yet, it wasn’t until he spotted a tiny figure in the distance that he regretted being under-dressed.

Noah was on his beach. She was wearing only her blue garments, the ones she usually had under the white dress of her uniform. Waves soaked her bare feet each time they moved over the white sand. Her brown hair was down, spilling over her shoulders to the middle of her back.

He briefly contemplated turning around and going back to the tent. It would do his mind no good, though. Besides, her presence never bothered him.

\- Do you mind? - he asked when he was close enough to speak without raising his voice. Exhaustion was evident in her gray orbs as she gave him a concerned look. She waved her hand to her right a little as an invitation and turned back to the sea.

\- Couldn’t sleep? - her voice was soft, quiet. Perhaps it was what made him reply honestly.

\- Nightmare. Or a memory. - he took a seat beside her. - Those of us with powers of the Nine Titans can see things from the memories of those who came before us. -

\- Does the ability at least help, or is it only there to torment you? - Noah glanced at him sideways, her eyes searching his.

\- Both, it seems. - he placed the lantern behind them, so its light wouldn’t disrupt the beautiful image that was the moonlight bathing the sea. She was bathed in it as well, making her look more ashen than the lantern did. Seeing her in such a state bothered him. - Why are you here? -

\- Nightmare. Or a memory. - she offered a small smile when he chuckled. She cupped the sand in her hands, then let it trickle through the gaps between her fingers. - I wish I could trick myself into thinking the latter wasn’t a possibility. -

Zeke felt the same. - How long have you been a combat nurse? -

\- About 7 years. In Atla, we become soldiers at the age of 16. Once we turn 18, we are allowed to find a different job. -

\- Why did you stay with the military? - despite of her being good enough to be a captain of a unit, Zeke felt like she didn’t belong in the army.

\- I wanted to save lives. - she let out a sad chuckle. - I was naive, thinking my commitment to the cause would actually help me make a difference. -

\- But you did make a difference. - he realized it sounded like an empty comfort, but it was the truth. - Maybe not the world as a whole, but think of the people whose lives you’ve saved. Their families. -

\- I’ve lost a lot more than I’ve saved, Zeke. Men, women and children alike. - her empty hands cupped the sand and let it trickle again. - I’ve taken some, too. -

It was probably what caused her the most pain, he figured. - You had no choice. Each of those people could’ve killed one of yours. -

\- We didn’t even belong on those battlefields. Atla hasn’t led a war against other countries for over two decades. We are nothing but a service being bought by everyone else. What are we even fighting for? - desperation laced her voice. - You’d expect the wise to be wiser. We should’ve known better. -

\- If you disagree with your country’s politics, why are you here? - it was something he couldn’t understand. He always knew what he was fighting for. - If all you wanted was to save lives and you feel like you’ve failed, what are you here for? -

Noah’s shoulders slumped before she let her back fall on the soft sand beneath them. Her eyes went to the stars above, her breathing slowing with each passing second. She was quiet as her gray orbs searched for the answer in the dark sky.

\- For you. - she said finally, and he could feel his eyes widen in surprise. - For all of you here, who are not allowed to run away. To try and save each precious life of each man, woman and child who is dying because those above are greedy. I’m here to protect all of you. You are my purpose. -

_Ah,_ he thought.  _To protect._ How many people did he know that thought the same way, and had their souls crushed the first time they had stepped onto the battlefield? How many of those pure hearts died for him  or the likes? He felt unworthy of their sacrifice, and even less so because she had nothing to do with Marley’s war. Would his potential demise make her suffer as well?

\-  Are we worth it? -  any better words to offer escaped his mind.

\- Of course you are. - she said as if he had asked something stupid. - As I said, life is precious. If you are all out there fighting to protect something or someone, who is doing that for you? -

\- You are? - he smirked when she sat up straight with newfound purpose.

\- Damn straight I am, my dear weremonkey. - she smacked his thigh. - No dying on my watch. -

\-  Yes, my lady. - he teased back, earning himself another smack. - You started it. -

\- Your turn. - she placed her hands on the sand behind her and leaned back on them. Her gray eyes held warmth he couldn’t explain as she  looked at him expectantly. -  Talk. -

\- I don’t have much to say. Besides, you already know what it means to be Eldian in this world. - he pointed out, earning himself a nod.

\- And what are you going to do about it? -

\- I will erase the Titans from existence. - he wanted her to see things from his perspective before telling  her more. He wondered if it would be okay to share his plan, considering no one really knew what he had in mind. But, then again, she was the only person that had absolutely nothing to do with the whole situation. If there was a good opportunity to get it off his chest, it was then, with her. \- Eldians on Paradis are dangerous  to the world. As long as Titans exist, cohabitation with the rest of the people is impossible. -

\- I still don’t understand why is everyone treating them like they’re the devils when it’s the entire world trying to destroy the nation and take their resources. - her words surprised him yet again. Suddenly, he was no longer sure just how much she knew about Eldia.

\- Did you not read history books? -

\- I don’t like learning about people through those. Victors write history. - she waved him off. - I’d prefer to hear it from you, or other Eldians who have encountered them. -

Z eke was dumbfounded. Falling into rhythm of the world was so easy when it came to Paradis Island – there was no man on their side. The hate for them was so very open, expected even. Zeke himself has never encountered a non-Eldian who didn’t despise them. 

\- I don’t consider them devils. I do consider them a threat, however. After everything they’ve suffered so far, do you think they would not want revenge? -

\- I’m sure many do. - she confirmed his train of thought. - But is it fair to make them all suffer for it? -

\- I would not make them suffer, Noah. - he rubbed his face and realized he had forgotten his glasses. - I am a cruel man for creating such a plan, but I don’t see an option more humane than what I came up with. -

\- What is it? -

\- I can make us unable to reproduce. All of us as a nation, no matter where we are. - he expected to find utter horror on her face when he met her eyes again, but all he found was sorrow in those gray orbs. -  I have already taken too many Eldian lives. I don’t want to kill them all if there is a better way. -

\- You would let them fade away in peace. - her hand found his and she gave him a comforting squeeze. Zeke looked down at where their skin came in contact.

\- You are not  going to try to talk me out of it? - he wondered. Considering how much a human life mattered to her, he would’ve expected otherwise.

\- I know the hate and contempt this world has for your people. I just hope that world leaves you all alone after you’re done, instead of trying to exterminate you anyway. -  she let go of him and stood up. - You are one messed up man, Zeke Yeager. But a good man nonetheless. -

\- You are a fool to consider me as such. - the words escaped him as she stepped over his legs on her way back to the camp. He would never allow people to hear his self-loathing, but he felt as if he manipulated her into thinking so. If anyone, she didn’t deserve such a thing, not from him.  Still, he believed he could’ve worded himself better.

\-  After everything you’ve told me so far, I’d be terrified if you agreed with me. Those who do not regret taking another life are the ones in the wrong. Looking down on yourself is a normal reaction. - she knelt by his side and offered a small smile. - But that doesn’t make it true, Zeke. -

He was left speechless. That strong, soft little creature looked at him with such kindness, knowing what he was and in which direction his life was going. He was but a monster, in his own eyes and the eyes of everyone else. And yet, she saw the complete opposite in him.

\- You should go. - his voice was raspy. She was close, so close. He feared what could come out of the situation. The entire conversation was filled with such heaviness, the connection that was created out of it was dangerous in its own right. Zeke could not afford any of it. - Please, go. -

\-  Right. - understanding flashed in her gray orbs and she looked down at her lap. - This was a bad idea. -

\- It was. - he agreed. - We should just… -

\- Forget about it. - she finished for him. - Of course. -

\- Right. - he didn’t dare to look at her face anymore.

She stood up again and walked away in silence.

He wanted nothing more than to chase after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit heavier than the two before. I hope you enjoyed it just as much or more. Until next time!


	4. The devil (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know it's been a whole week, and I apologize for making you wait.   
> This chapter is going to be NSFW, so beware and enjoy. ^^

\- Why do you always hide behind that tree? - they had been at the camp for over a week and Zeke had enough. Every night he’d wait until everyone was asleep to take a shower in peace, and every night she would hide behind that damn tree and wait for him to go away, even though there were four more showers for her to use. She wasn’t even looking at him, she was just waiting for him to leave.

\- Damn it. - he heard her mutter through the heavy curtain. - I promise I’m not being a creep. -

\- Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you there? - he understood things were a bit strained between them after the conversation they had that night on the beach but, since they continued bickering not too long after seeing each other again, he figured that wasn’t the problem.

\- I didn’t realize you can see through things. - with resignation, she entered and placed her things next to his. She made quick work of removing her clothes, completely unfazed by the fact she wasn’t alone. The lack of self-consciousness he usually noticed in women as they undress surprised him.

\- Interesting. - he murmured out loud. Only when she stopped talking and gave him a curious look did he realize he actually spoke. - Sorry. I was merely surprised by the ease with which you deal with nudity. -

\- You do realize I’m a nurse, right? - she smirked as she stepped under the shower farthest from his. - The first thing I see when a person takes their clothes off is whether there are any injuries or not. Add the word “combat” to my profession, and the second thing I look for are physical weaknesses I can exploit. -

\- Makes sense. - he admitted, then smirked back at her. - So you already know where my weak points are? -

\- Anyway… - she looked at him as if he were silly. - How _did_ you see me behind that tree? Are those your monkey powers? -

\- I’m not a monkey, I’m an ape. - Zeke disregarded the previous conversation.

\- Oh, so you _are_ an ape? - the damn woman grinned as wide as was humanely possible. - Finally you admit it. -

\- What a cruel little lady you are. - he smirked in amusement. - You should bully someone your own size. -

\- No one my size is brave enough to fight back. - she shrugged nonchalantly. - And not many people of any size are smart enough to do so on equal level. -

\- Did you just give me a compliment? - surprised, he turned to look at her. She was already lathering soap on her skin and the sight made him realize he made a mistake.

\- I would never. Your ego is already big enough. - she smirked as her soapy hand moved over her belly to the apex of her thighs. Zeke swallowed thickly but, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t force himself to look away. Desperate, he shut the water off and walked to the bench to grab his towel.

\- No, I think that was a compliment. - he couldn’t think of a comeback, so he used her words against her. - And the fact that you were trying not to give me one but couldn’t do it is even more of a compliment. -

\- Hey. - she turned and pointed an accusing finger at him. - Why are you like this? You big bully. -

\- You did this to yourself. - Zeke smirked as her face went from bright pink to dark red. - Careful, your head is going to combust. -

\- Damn you, Yeager. - she took the shower head and directed it at him. He threw his towel back on the bench and stepped away quickly, before their things could get drenched.

\- What are you doing? - Zeke couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so heartily. - Can you not think of a better response than resorting to violence? -

\- You think this is violent? - she turned the knob to the side, then came as close to him as the shower would allow. The makeshift showers were amazing, but didn’t offer as much freedom of movement as did those in a proper house. The amount of water that could be used before the barrel needed changing and the time it took for it to be warmed up again for use made the difference that much clearer. Still, Zeke could appreciate good engineering when he saw it.

He choked on air alone when the freezing water hit his bare skin. - You underestimate me, Zeke. -

\- Back to first name basis, are we? - he steeled his nerves and made a quick approach to grab her hand before she could spray him too much. He was completely drenched again, and freezing to the bone. He couldn’t wrestle the damn shower head from her hand, so he wrestled her entire body back to the knobs and turned the water off.

\- Aw, damn it. - she faked a pout as she finally gave him the damn thing. He placed it back where it belonged and chuckled at her. - I’ll admit my loss this once. -

\- Don’t feel bad, Noah. - he wasn’t sure whether he was brave or stupid, but his hand went to her jaw, his thumb tracing her bottom lip from one corner of her mouth to the other. He briefly contemplated kissing her, but all he wanted was sex. In his mind, kissing and any other form of affection was reserved solely for deepening of emotional connection between people. He was not willing to let the situation develop in that direction. - I always win. -

Her eyes lidded briefly and her breath caught in her throat at the proximity. Instead of trying to get closer, however, she twisted her body to the side and stepped away, then smirked at him over her shoulder. - Did you really think I would be that easy? -

He was briefly surprised, only to realize she had actually put herself in the corner of the room. In a fluid motion, he pushed her front against the flimsy wooden wall and pressed against her back. - Did you really think I would bother if you were? -

A moan she failed to hide escaped her lips as his hand went to her jaw again. She grabbed onto his forearm, but didn’t try to push it away. Instead, she pushed her ass against his groin and leaned her head against his chest.

He pulled back only slightly, then lowered his mouth to the spot beneath her ear. He stopped himself before he could kiss her there and rested his forehead on her shoulder. - We can’t do this. -

\- If you’re cruel just to bully me, I will murder you. - she whined.

\- This is illegal, Noah. - he informed her. - I’m from a devil race. We… -

\- Like I care about gods and devils and their stupid laws. - she took his hand in hers, then placed it on her heated core. He could easily feel how wet she was for him. - Must we bicker over this, too? -

His mind was reeling as she used his fingers to rub herself. Her body tensed at every well-placed stroke, followed by a quiet, sensual moan. When she rubbed her ass against his erection once more, Zeke lost any sliver of control he had over his mind.

He took control over his limbs again and lined himself up with her entrance. His other hand went to cover her mouth as he buried himself further and further inside of her. He groaned as her tight walls took him whole and clenched around his girth as he bottomed out. She cried out into his palm, her nails digging into the skin of his forearm. He pulled his hand away when she quieted down.

\- I stand corrected. - he wrapped one arm around her hips and the other under her breasts. - Between the two of us, you are the devil. -

\- Now, that’s a compliment. - she was ready to add something else, but gave up on the notion when he lifted her off of the floor. Zeke had to use his strength to make up for the difference in size, considering he towered over her by about 20 centimeters. She bent her legs in order to hold onto him and ease some of her weight off of his arms. He moved in and out of her with harsh snaps of his hips against her ass. The sound the movement produced echoed in the room, and so did her moans, but he was confident they were quiet enough not to be heard outside.

She was absolutely perfect as he took her, her walls clenching in rhythm with his thrusts, her breasts bouncing against his arm each time he’d bottom out. With a twist of his wrist, he palmed one of the mounds, then teased her already pert nipple. Zeke pulled her back against his chest and away from the wall, so her entire weight would rest on him. He placed his lips on the skin of her back, close to her spine, leaving hickeys behind as he moved up to her neck and over her shoulder.

Once the rhythm in which her walls tensed around him changed, he adjusted the angle under which he penetrated her. She cried out in pleasure as the tip of his cock brushed over the sensitive spot within her.

\- Oh, God. - she moaned, only seconds away from falling over the edge.

\- Now. Is. Not. The. Time. To. Be. Religious. - Zeke punctuated each word with a harsh thrust, leaving her a convulsing mess as she came. He could feel her spasm so clearly, the feeling of her core sucking him in deeper making him worry he might not be able to pull out of her in time.

As soon as the last wave of pleasure left her, he removed himself from her and placed her back on her feet. She pushed her ass against him again and leaned her face and palms against the wall as he stroked himself to reach his own end. His load hit the skin on the small of her back and spilled over her ass, creating a perfect sight for him to feast his eyes on.

Noah chuckled as he finally stepped away from her, already going back to the showers to clean up. - We really can’t stop bickering even for sex. -

He smirked at the way her mind worked. - You’re impossible. -

She giggled and shrugged. - Eh, you’d be bored otherwise. -


	5. Cheating

The first thing that nearly gave her a heart attack was watching as Gabi put her brave face on and went to blow up the railways. The second thing was finally seeing the Titans in person. The third was nearly getting crushed under Galliard’s foot as she went to pull one of the wounded soldiers out of the harm’s way.

Noah had never been more proud of her unit than then and there. With actual weaponry – the guns they carried for the soldiers as per agreement – her ladies were a lot more dangerous than anyone else expected. Fighting on the side of those poor people made her feel better about the fact they were meddling in their war in the first place.

But then, people started raining out of the zeppelin. During the meetings in HQ, no one ever mentioned people would be thrown within the wall of the Fort. She briefly wondered if it was even planned in the first place.

When those very people started changing into the mindless titans, she realized the purpose of her unit wasn’t to protect the normal soldiers. It was to protect warriors, candidates and leadership, in case the healing powers the Nine Titans possessed wasn’t enough to save them. The rest of the Eldian soldiers were but a fodder to be trampled over on their way to winning the war.

There was one thing she knew for sure. It was Zeke who made those people turn, whether willingly or on command.

As the titans continued raining on Fort Slava, Noah noticed when Reiner jumped out of the airship as well. In his transformed form, he was to serve as a shield from the enemy’s artillery, and allow the rest of the soldiers to take the Fort under their control. Their naval force attacked from the bay, showering them in bullets and bombs. Even though Reiner took the brunt of their attacks, so many suffered injuries. Reiner himself included.

Noah was among them as well.

The bullet passed cleanly through her left thigh, narrowly missing the artery. It gave her enough time to take care of at least one person before having to deal with her own wound. She adjusted her uniform so it would cover the injury to prevent the dirt from entering it, then rolled over to a man laying face-down a few meters away.

\- Everything is going to be okay. - she said calmly, her eyes already searching the man. His uniform was bloody everywhere, and the dust that was raised by a bomb falling not too far away from the two made it difficult to discern fresh blood from the dried one. - Where did you get hit? -

\- Shoulder. - the man groaned, nodding to his left side. She made quick work of removing the dirtied material covering it and found a gaping hole in the man’s scapula. He had to have taken another hit at some point, the diameter of the wound was too big for the caliber the enemy used.

\- How long ago were you shot the first time? - she asked to keep his brain engaged as she began treating him. Besides, knowing the time frame could be useful.

\- Not long. - he said, then groaned in pain again. - One of your girls saved me. -

\- We’ll take good care of all of you. - she promised.

It was then that Zeke jumped out of the zeppelin.

–

Reiner took heavy hits by the time Zeke came to his aid. His titan attack obliterated most of Fort’s forces, even though more than a half of them died from the fall, but the navy continued their attack from the bay. Had Reiner not been there, Zeke dared to believe they would’ve lost a lot more people than the enemy did.

He made use of the remaining enemy’s artillery as projectiles against the navy. He could hear people scream all around him as the navy fought back, some of their bombs and bullets narrowly avoiding the large form of the Armored Titan and striking the humans on the ground. A quick glance at the battlefield showed him just how many people they’ve already lost. Had it not been for the nurses, the number of the fallen soldiers would’ve been much higher. Zeke had even seen the women laying lifeless by the soldiers.

Noah wasn’t among them.

He continued his merciless assault, striking down sailor after sailor, ship after ship. It was only after he made sure no one was left alive that he finally stopped. He disposed of his large Titan’s body with care, so he wouldn’t kill more of his own people. Those he used as titan projectiles were already too heavy on his mind.

The silence that fell over the battlefield as the warriors shifted back to their human forms to signify the end of the war was eerie. Many were looking around, waiting for another attack, assuming not everyone was obliterated on the opposing side. When none came, people began to scream. Some in celebration, some in horror.

There was one scream that stood out the most to him.

\- Help! - Noah’s voice was desperate and high-pitched as it reached his ears. Zeke looked around, searching for a group of people gathering around the woman in order to find her faster, but no one did. He found her near the wall, her body crushed under a boulder from her ribs down. Her arms were extended to a body in front of her.

Furious with the lack of response from the rest of the people surrounding them, he ran over to her. His chest constricted when he saw her weep.

\- Please. - she begged, her hands already working on the patient. - Please, help me. He’s just a boy. -

Zeke looked over the boulder, estimating the manpower needed to move it. He could’ve turned into the Beast and be done with it, but he would have to move far away in order to avoid blowing them up in the process. He turned to the nearby group of gathered soldiers.

\- Hey! - he yelled at the lot. Curious heads turned to look at him. - Help. Now. -

Finally, they ran up to them, going to the boulder without a word. The five of them moved the damn thing and placed it aside, freeing her crushed body from its weight. She pulled herself closer to the body in front of her, checking the vitals and the large wound on the abdomen. Ignoring the men who continued to celebrate as if nothing just happened, Zeke picked them both up as well as he could, then pulled them away from the group.

He recognized the boy when he placed them back on the ground. The kid was in his early teens, and would often run around saying he’d be the next Armored Titan. Gabi would argue with him more often than not. Reiner would try and convince them both to give up on that goal. Many would praise his commitment.

\- Zeke, please. - Noah’s eyes were brimming with tears. - I need equipment. And I need you to hold me up. -

\- He’s dead. - his jaw clenched when her hands went to the boy anyway. - Noah, he’s dead already. -

\- No. - her head shook in denial. She tried to sit up, but her body wouldn’t move. Zeke sat behind her to help her sit, then pulled the woman to his chest. She pulled the boy to her own.

\- I’m sorry. - he held them both, not sure what else he could do. - What happened? -

\- You… - she screamed out when he squeezed her hands to try and comfort her. Only then did he realize the skin there was burned, as well as the flesh exposed by the lack of cover. The backs of her hands were the only part that looked sort of normal. - You dropped projectiles. I pushed him out of the boulder’s way, but the other projectile hit him instead. -

\- I did this? - his voice shook as he asked for confirmation. The boy, her… He dropped projectiles on them?

\- I couldn’t save him. - she clutched the child, even though it caused her pain. - I couldn’t… I lost another kid… -

\- You were crushed under that boulder. - he tried to convince her it wasn’t her fault, knowing she wouldn’t listen. He tried anyway.

She wept freely in his arms, both over the loss and the physical pain her injuries caused. Zeke cursed the world yet again, cursed the fate, cursed himself within his own mind. His mouth spoke soft, comforting words to her ear, but he was filled with rage and grief.

Even if her mind recovered, her body would not, at least not enough for her to continue saving lives. No matter how advanced her country was in terms of medicine, they would not be able to fix the damage he did to her body. He was certain she would at least be paralyzed.

He ruined the one person who accepted him as he was, who did not care for the devil’s blood running through his veins, who understood him on every level. She made him feel alive, and he destroyed her in return. How many died because he was careless? How many were hurt by his own idiocy?

–

Noah could feel the change in the consistency of the fluid running down her cheek, the change in speed with which it slid over her skin. Her head was throbbing, her eyes were losing function. The blurs she could see required focus, and the focus caused her pain. The projectile that killed the child in her arms must’ve caused her brain damage. She didn’t have long left to live. Half an hour, at best.

\- Zeke? - she tried to keep her voice steady in order to fool him into thinking she was calming down from her previous emotional outburst. If he didn’t believe in her getting better, he would stick around longer.

\- Yes? - his voice was rough with emotion. It made her regret telling him the truth.

\- Could you go find me a nurse? - she swallowed down the blood bubbling up in her throat. Noah knew there were no nurses left alive. Only a few of their elite soldiers remained. But, searching for anyone would keep him away for long enough to not watch her die.

Zeke moved from behind her, leaning her back on the wall instead. She could barely see his face, but the soft touch of his hand on her cheek told her everything she needed to know.

\- I will bring you a nurse. - he cupped her chin. - I need you to promise me something in return. -

\- Fine, I’ll stop calling you a weremonkey. - she tried to joke, hoping it would make him feel better. His raspy exhale made her realize it might have been a bad idea.

\- Leave the army. - his breath fanned over her lips as he came closer. - Promise me this is the last war you’ll fight. -

\- I promise. - it wasn’t a lie. He still didn’t believe her.

The kiss he pressed against her lips was a goodbye. It was desperate and painful, and she wished it would at least bring him comfort. He had to have known she wouldn’t live.

He stole the little breath she had in her lungs as his hands wiped her cheeks. Even as their lips stopped moving against one another he lingered, his ragged breath allowing her to feel his pain, since she could no longer see it on his face. It was easier for her, really. It made her feel like she was cheating.

And she was, she realized as she watched the vague lines of his retreating back, with the dead boy clutched tightly to her chest. The boy was no longer in pain. Her suffering would end shortly. But Zeke still had to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter! Did it make you cry? Do you like how it ended? What would you change? I'm not really a big fan of happy endings and I was given a chance to avoid it, so I tried to make it as depressing as I could lol  
> Thank you for giving my stories a chance. I hope they made your day at least a little better.

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is very welcome and appreciated. Thank you for your time. ^^  
> Edit: the quote Zeke thinks of at the beach is from Sarah Kay.


End file.
